


You Left Me

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Early Work, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 13:44:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah is drunk and vulnerable. Sean is sober and feeling guilty. He comes to Elijah's rescue... and is saved himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Left Me

Sean fought for consciousness, feeling alarm spread through his veins and settle in his stomach with a weight as heavy as iron. He reached for his cell phone and scrabbled to find the 'talk' button, still fighting off sleep.

"Hello?" He muttered, totally prepared to verbally rip on any poor unfortunate who had called his house by mistake at the ungodly hour of . . . his eyes swung to the clock. 2: 13 AM. "Hello?" he said again, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and standing up.

He heard a quiet, breathless sound come through the earpiece. Then a choked voice said: "Sean?

"Elijah? Is that you?" Sean staggered into the hall and pulled the bedroom door closed behind Chris's sleeping form. "Elijah?" Sean asked again.

"You left me!" he heard Elijah cry. His voice was strangled and the moment the words left his mouth Sean heard him begin to sob.

A flicker of recognition flew into his mind. He'd heard Elijah cry like this before. "He's drunk," Sean thought. "But, no," Sean thought again, correcting himself instantly. "That's not it."

He wasn't remembering Elijah.

He was remembering Ally.

Ally when she woke from a nightmare. Terrified. Disoriented. Unsure of time and place.

"Elijah. Elijah" Sean soothed. "I'm here. Talk to me, baby. What's wrong? I haven't left you."

"You promised! You swore! And you left me!" Elijah accused him, his breath ragged in Sean's ear. His sobs, rough-edged and guttural, diminished in volume and Sean knew he had lowered the phone from his mouth and totally surrendered to his grief.

"Elijah!" Sean cried, his mind racing. God, if he didn't pick the phone back up! Sean ran to the spare bedroom and grabbed a set of sweats out of the closet. Fearful of laying the phone down he struggled to put them on, saying Elijah's name into the receiver again and again. Finally, as he was pulling the sweatshirt over his head, he heard his name.

"Sean? Sean?" Elijah moaned, his voice filled with sorrow. "Why did you leave me? You left me just like he did."

"Listen to me!" Sean begged him, stuffing his feet into a pair of old sneakers. "Please! Where are you? Elijah! Where are you?"

"I don’t know!" Elijah moaned, his voice sliding into sobs again.

"Elijah!" Sean cried, feeling anguished anxiety flicker through his body like lightning strikes. Jesus, he could be anywhere!

"Is someone with you? Elijah! Tell me!" Sean flew downstairs and into the kitchen.

There was a moment's silence. Then Elijah's voice: "Orli's here." He sounded surprised. As though he had just discovered Orlando's presence.

"Oh, thank Christ!" Sean muttered, faint with relief. "Give him the phone, Elijah! Give the phone to Orli. Please, baby. Give Orli the phone."

Sean's hand was reaching for his keys when he heard Orlando's voice.

"Sean?" Orlando said quietly. "Jesus you need to get down here, man."

"What's wrong?" Sean asked, reaching for his keys. 'I'm on my way! Where the hell are you?"

"We're sitting on the curb in front of 'Funktion's'," Orlando told him.

"Where the hell is THAT?" Sean cried. He unlocked his car and opened the door. "What's wrong with him?" He asked again, turning the key and firing up the engine.

"It's that club on South Boylston that he likes," Orlando said quietly. Then Sean heard him murmur, "Lij. Lij. It's OK, man. Sean's coming."

"I know it," Sean muttered. "I remember it now."

He pulled out into traffic, still holding the phone to his ear, and headed for the freeway. "Orli?" he said, not sure if Orlando was still listening. "It's going to take me about 10 minutes."

He heard muffled conversation, then Orlando's voice: "Elijah, no. NO! WAIT!"

"Orli!" Sean yelled. "What's wrong? Orli!!"

He heard the phone clatter to the pavement. Orlando's terrified voice was crying Elijah's name, and moments later, to his horror, Sean heard the shriek of brakes.

Fear exploded in his chest and he swerved his car to avoid oncoming traffic.

"Oh, Jesus!" He whispered. "Lijah. Oh, god, baby, no."

There was the tinny sound of voices yelling, then Sean heard the phone scrape against the concrete and Orlando's voice filled his ear once again.

"Sean?"

"Jesus, is he alright!" Sean asked, terrified.

"Yes! Yes, I've got him now. Fucking idiot ran out into traffic, but I've got him now."

"For Christ's sake, hang onto him!" Sean cried. "Jesus, Orli!"

"Sean, I'm trying!" Orlando said quietly. "But he's a handful. He's shit faced, and off his nut about something. He started talking about his father, then about you leaving him or something. And it's hard to handle him with one hand."

"Hang up." Sean told him. "Hang the damned phone up and hang onto HIM! Use both hands. I’m 5 minutes away. Maybe a bit more."

"OK, man." Orlando said.

"Orli??" Sean said, feeling his throat tighten. "Please, man. Hang onto him."

"No sweat, Sean," Orlando said gently. "I've got him now."

"And Orli?" Sean rasped quickly. "Please. Tell him I'm coming. Tell him I love him and that I'm coming."

"I'll tell him, man," Orlando soothed. "Just get here. We're on the curb right in front of the fucking place."

"OK. Just take care of him," Sean said, and thumbed the 'end' button on the phone.

He jammed on the accelerator to the floor as he merged on the freeway and roared past everything in sight, praying none of L.A.'s finest were patrolling anywhere near. He was fighting back tears of his own, partly from fright, partly from guilt.

"You left me!" Elijah had cried. And Sean bit his lip in self-reproach. He had seen a lot less of Elijah lately. Between his family responsibilities and the frenzy of his schedule lately, Sean had been busy. Elijah had too, as far as that went. But Sean knew in his heart that none of this would have kept him from making room for Elijah in his life. None of this would have kept them apart.

Sean had said it. Said it more than once. The kind of relationship that Sam and Frodo had didn’t just happen. You had to 'make' that kind of relationship. And Sean hadn't been 'making' his relationship with Elijah happen.

But what if the very idea of this relationship filled you with so much fear that you trembled inside? What if the sight of this person crushed your chest with longing? And what if the sound of their voice left you feeling desperate and consumed with hunger? And what if all of this was so dreadfully, terribly wrong?

Sean sighed, and turned his car onto the exit ramp. Elijah was two minutes away.

Sean could see the lights of the club directly ahead of him. And sitting on the curb he saw two hunched figures. One was leaning over with his arm around the other person's shoulder. Sean pulled in right in front of them. As his headlights slid over them, both figures raised their heads. Orlando's face was a study in relief. Elijah's was tear stained and wretched.

Sean left his car running and dashed over to where they were sitting. He sat on his heels and placed his hands gently on Elijah's shoulders, but his eyes slid to Orlando.

"You got him, man?" Orlando asked.

"Got him," Sean told him, moving one hand to Orlando's shoulder and squeezing it. "Thanks, Orli."

Orlando patted Sean's hand while with the other he rubbed the top of Elijah's head. "Call me tomorrow." Orlando said to neither one of them in particular, then he turned and walked down the sidewalk.

Sean turned his full attention on Elijah.

"Hi, Lij," he murmured. "Want to come with me?"

"You left me." Elijah whispered. It was clear he was drunk, but to Sean's ears he sounded more sad than intoxicated.

"I'm here now, baby," Sean told him gently. He gently touched Elijah's cheek. "Can I take you home?" Sean asked, his voice nearly a whisper. "Please? Come with me? Lijah?"

Elijah tried to shrug away from him but Sean held on tight. "You don’t want me," Elijah said softly, his breathing starting to get ragged again.

"I do want you," Sean told him, feeling his body shudder. "Please let me take you home. We'll talk. We'll talk all night if you like. I promise."

Elijah looked up and him and Sean winced at the sorrow in his eyes. "You're just being nice. You don't like me anymore."

Sean felt his throat tighten painfully and he started to reach for Elijah, meaning to take him in his arms.

But people were starting to wander out of the club. It was near to closing time. Sean glanced up at them and then back to Elijah. Fearing that one or both of them might be recognized, he grabbed Elijah's shoulders decisively and stood them both up.

"I'm taking you home," Sean murmured, pointing him toward the car.

He walked Elijah to the passenger door and leaned him against his own body while he quickly opened it. Then he half-slid, half-pushed Elijah into the seat.

"It's OK now, baby," he assured Elijah. "It's alright now." He knelt beside him trying to grab for the seat belt.

Elijah turned to him. "Are you going to ditch me?" His eyes began to fill with tears again. "When we get to my house, I mean?" Elijah's voice was as small as a child's and Sean's head fell forward onto his arm.

After a moment he straightened and wrapped the seat belt around Elijah's body. "Don't you worry," Sean crooned to him. "I'm coming in and I’m going to tuck you into bed, and then I'm gong to lay down beside you and talk to you for as long as you want."

Elijah looked at him as Sean stood up and laid his hand on the door to shut it. "You don't have to, you know. You can just drop me off."

Sean leaned down and kissed his cheek. "You trying to get rid of me?" he asked gently.

"No," Elijah replied. He opened his mouth to speak then shook his head and said nothing. Sean closed the passenger door.

As he walked around the car he took a deep breath and tried to force his body to relax. Elijah was quietly looking out the window when Sean climbed into the car. He was staring at the people who were walking out of the club. His hands were clenched into fists on his lap.

Sean leaned over him to check his seat belt, tugging on it to make sure it was tight enough. He touched Elijah's face with gentle fingers and turned his head until they were looking into each other's eyes.

"You OK?" Sean half-whispered.

Elijah nodded slowly.

"Feel sick?" Sean asked.

Elijah shook his head just as slowly.

"OK."

The few miles to Elijah's house passed in complete silence. Sean was struggling to compose himself and hoping to God he that could handle whatever situation arose tonight. Elijah's breathing was shaky, but he wasn't crying. He gazed out the passenger window without saying a word.

When they reached Elijah's house, Sean shut the car off and sat staring out the window for a moment before getting out and walking around to the other door. By the time he got there Elijah was already standing beside the car. He turned toward Sean somewhat unsteadily and Sean reached out and grabbed his arm.

"C'mon, baby," he murmured, turning Elijah to walk him toward the house. "You got your keys?"

Elijah reached into his pocket grabbed his key ring. As he did so, he staggered and fell slightly against Sean who quickly grabbed the keys and wrapped his arm around Elijah's back to support him.

"Sorry," Elijah murmured, trying to pull away from Sean's supportive arm.

"No," Sean said quickly. "It's OK, Lij. Let me steady you. It's OK."

As Sean opened the door and guided Elijah into the house he felt the slender body sag against his once again even though Elijah tried valiantly to stand erect without his help.

Sean hit the lights and ushered Elijah straight to bedroom. He helped him get his jacket off, and then turned to look at the bed. It was a rumpled mess, and Sean hurriedly straightened it while Elijah stripped off the rest of his clothes.

"It's OK, Sean," Elijah muttered. "I’m used to sleeping in it that way."

"Not tonight, you're not," Sean told him, tugging the sheets tight. He was fluffing the pillows when Elijah walked over to him. Turning his eyes away from Elijah's naked body, Sean guided him into the bed and quickly covered him with a comforter. As he started to turn away, he felt Elijah's hand catch his.

"Sean?"

Sean turned and looked down at him.

"You don’t have to stay. Honest. I’m fine now."

There it was. The escape hatch. It had been handed to him freely and stood ready and open, just waiting for him to walk through. He had a legitimate out now. A gift from Elijah. His freedom.

Sean refused it without a second thought. He sat down on the bed, still holding Elijah's hand in his. "Is that what you want, Elwood? You want me to leave?"

Elijah didn't answer. He turned his face away and Sean felt his chest constrict, taking his breath. He touched Elijah's face, his fingers tracing the line of his jaw.

"Lijah?" he whispered.

Elijah turned toward him, his eyes lowered. Then, deliberately Sean thought, he raised his head and locked his gaze with Sean’s.

Sean tried to move his head, tried to look away. But the intensity of Elijah’s gaze held him prisoner.

“Lij?” he breathed. “What do you . . . “

The question was never finished. Elijah leaned forward and laid both hands on either side of Sean’s face.

As he leaned in, the bedclothes fell away from his naked body and Sean’s eyes drank in the sight of him and his soul burned for him as a thirsty man would burn for water. At the same time, he jerked away as though Elijah were the one who burned, and he the one who feared being consumed.

"Fine," Elijah said stiffly, lowering his hands.

"Wait," Sean said softly. "Wait." He took a deep breath and nudged Elijah's shoulder. "Scoot over."

Elijah lifted his eyes and looked at Sean questioningly and Sean nudged him again with the back of his hand. "Scoot over."

Elijah silently moved to the other side of the bed.

Sean stood up and stripped off his sweats, and leaving only his briefs, climbed into bed next to Elijah. He turned on his side and laid his head on the pillow hearing his heart thundering inside him. Feeling it pummeling the walls of his chest with a dull thud that seemed to reverberate through his whole body.

Elijah was still sitting up. But after a moment he turned the bedside light off and rolled toward Sean. He pulled the blankets up and lay down beside him, his dark head pressing into his pillow, his body curled.

For a moment there was complete silence.

"Are you really drunk?" Sean asked, reaching out to stroke Elijah's velvety head.

Elijah shrugged, the movement of his shoulders shifting the blanket. "Not as drunk as I was," he replied. "Seeing you there sobered me up a bit."

"Elijah," Sean said quietly. "I didn't leave you."

"Yes. You did," Elijah returned just as quietly. "And please don't tell me we've both been busy. When we first got home we were both busy, but we still saw each other. We still talked. We didn't go weeks without a word."

Sean sighed and pulled his hand back. His mind flickered to Samwise Gamgee. He would have died before he would have turned away from his Frodo. And when Frodo crossed the sea and that separation was forced on him, Sean knew that Sam's heart broke beyond any hope of repair.

Yet, here he was, about to make up phoney excuses for why he had turned his back on one of the most important relationships in his life. And done so even though he knew that Elijah would be deeply hurt by his abandonment. And had done so knowing full well that he loved this kind, good-natured young man more than his own life.

"Damn!" Sean muttered, hating himself. He saw Sam looking at him with sad eyes. His Frodo was gone. But Sean's was right here beside him. "What's wrong with me?" Sean asked himself. He couldn't get Sam's sad face out of his mind.

"What is it, Sean?" Elijah asked.

"Could you..." Sean hesitated. "Would you... do something for me?"

"If I can."

Sean chewed on his lower lip for a moment then reached for Elijah. He was curled against his pillow, with his hand drawn up to his face. Sean caught that hand and tugged on it gently.

"C'mere," Sean whispered. "Be my Frodo for a minute. Come and lay with your Sam."

Elijah knew exactly what Sean wanted. At times filming 'Rings' became so emotionally overwhelming that Sean would grab him and take him off somewhere. Somewhere private. He would pull Elijah into his arms and curve his body around Elijah's in protection and they would huddle quietly together with Elijah's head on Sean's shoulder holding each other close. Eventually they drew enough strength from their bonding to be able to go on.

They seldom spoke during these moments. There was really no need. The communion between them was instantaneous and required no words. Intimacy. Shelter. Love. Healing. Unspoken, but powerful beyond anything Elijah had ever felt before.

Elijah felt Sean tug on his hand. "Please, Elijah?" he asked.

Elijah moved next to him and felt Sean's arms tighten around him as his head fell onto Sean's shoulder. Their bodies automatically sought the positions that had renewed and sustained them so often in the past. Sean's body contained him, enfolded him, and Elijah pressed his face against the muscular warmth of Sean's shoulder, inhaling deeply.

Oddly enough, the poignancy of this familiar contact returned Elijah to the brink of tears. Everything he believed he had lost was wrapped all around him. But, unlike before, Elijah didn't believe it would stay.

"You left me," he said, his voice shuddering. "Just like... " he stopped quickly.

"Just like . . . who?" Sean asked.

"Never mind," Elijah said quickly. He made a sudden move, as though he would pull away, but Sean caught him close.

"No," he murmured. "Oh, Lijah, please don't go. Won't you stay with me?"

Elijah's body trembled and Sean knew he was close to tears again. He curled around Elijah like a warm blanket and soothed his back with gentle fingers. "Listen to me," he whispered. "Please listen to me."

Elijah's body relaxed again. His head settled back onto Sean's shoulder, but his hands moved to Sean's chest to push him back a bit, peering up, trying to see his eyes.

"I've been a jerk," Sean whispered, looking down at him. "But you have to believe it was done out of love for you."

Silence.

"God, Elijah! What did I have to offer you?"

Elijah's mouth fell open in disbelief. "Oh, please!" he cried, trying to pull away, pushing on Sean's chest. "I'm not going to listen to this, Sean."

"Elijah, I mean it," Sean murmured. He grabbed Elijah's hands as they pushed on his chest lifted them so that they weren't pushing him away anymore. Then he wrapped his arms around Elijah's body again and pulled him close. "Please," h e murmured. "Oh, Elijah, please. Don't go away."

The feeling of Elijah in his arms had melted away any resistance Sean had left. He didn't think he'd ever felt anything quite so breath-taking. He prayed silently that he could just lie here, holding him, 'til dawn and the demands of their lives forced Elijah out of his arms.

He heard Elijah sigh and relax just a bit, and Sean moved his fingers up and down Elijah's spine. The satiny feel of his skin left Sean spellbound. He longed with all his heart to turn his head and press his lips against the curve of Elijah's neck. To feel that smooth skin beneath his lips. But he was afraid.

He could feel unyielding muscle just underneath his skin and smiled. Elijah will always be a mass of contradictions, he thought. Letting yourself think anything else is a huge mistake.

He lifted his hands stroking Elijah's skin with only the softest touch of his fingertips. His hands moved in circles, caressing Elijah's back and sides. Elijah's hands rested quietly against his chest now, his fingers making small grasping motions against Sean's body. After a few quiet moments, Sean heard a small sigh of contentment, and he smiled.

"Tell me something?" Elijah half-whispered.

"Happy to."

"Why is it OK for me to be naked but not for you?" He reached down and fingered the waistband of Sean's briefs. "Hmmm?"

Sean laughed softly. "Why Mr. Frodo!" he said in Sam's gentle accent. "You trying to get me all nekked, sir? What do you have in mind?"

"Just never you mind, Samwise Gamgee," Elijah replied in Frodo's refined voice. "You just do as Master bids and take these things off." He tugged on the waistband again.

Sean hesitated for a moment, his fingers still moving absently up and down Elijah's spine. He knew if he did this, there would be no going back. He'd never be able to stop. Then it occurred to him that he was kidding himself since it was probably way too late already. He gave a half-laugh and rolled away from Elijah long enough to remove his briefs and throw them over the side of the bed. Then he turned back and gathered Elijah into his arms again.

"Happy now, Mr. Frodo, sir?" he questioned in Sam's voice.

Elijah laughed and stroked Sean's cheek. "Yes, Sam. Your Frodo is very happy now." He dropped his head back to Sean's shoulder and curled his hands in front of him. "Very happy," he murmured.

Sean felt Elijah's body pressed against his whole length. And now that they were both naked, his cock rubbed hard against Elijah's belly, grazing Elijah's own swollen erection. The sensation left him aching with need and he bit down hard on his lower lip.

"Lij," He whispered, unsure whether to press harder or pull away.

Elijah leaned back to look at him. The backs of his fingers stroked up the length of Sean's face. Then his thumb smoothed the soft skin under Sean's eye. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Sean shook his head. "No. God, no. It's just that... I…" he broke off as though unable to find the right words.

Elijah leaned up and kissed his cheek and Sean turned his face to return the kiss. "Lij, please tell me what to do," he whispered. "I feel so lost. I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I know I have without even really meaning to… and I feel so low. I couldn't bear to hurt you more than I already have."

Elijah looked at him. "Why are you hesitating? You know I want you to make love to me. You know that."

Sean nodded.

"But, not if you don't want it too, Sean."

"I do! God, Elijah, you can feel that I do," Sean replied.

Elijah shook his head. "Just because your dick is hard doesn't mean you want to make love to me. Hell, just having another naked body snuggled against yours could get your dick hard." He stroked Sean's curls slowly.

"Could." Sean told him quietly. "But didn't."

"No?" Elijah asked.

"No," Sean replied, then winked at Elijah with a crooked half-smile. "Truth is… it was hard way before then."

Elijah giggled quietly and rubbed his face across Sean's chest. "Well you don't need a guidebook, Astin. We've made love before," he looked full into Sean's eyes. "Don't you remember?"

Sean's breath caught and for a moment he couldn't speak. "Jesus Christ, Elijah. How can you ask me that. Do I remember!" The last word was a ragged cry. His eyes burned into Elijah's for only an instant before he crushed their lips together.

He heard Elijah's gasp and felt it in the lips that suddenly opened beneath his. In the merest instant, desire raged through his body, stunning him with its power. He sucked in a startled breath and heard himself moaning his exhale into Elijah's mouth. His lips closed over Elijah's lower lip, nibbling gently knowing he had never been this overwhelmed by anything before.

Elijah's hand still rested on Sean's face. He moved his fingers and softly caressed the place where their two mouths were fastened together. They both whimpered and their kiss grew even more intense. Sean's tongue skated across Elijah's, softly caressing the tip of his tongue, the side, the bottom. Elijah moaned and closed his eyes, sucking Sean's tongue gently, longing with all his heart to make this kiss the most intimate he had ever experienced.

Sean felt his throat tighten as he and Elijah kissed. He was engulfed in feeling. Desire, yes. But not just desire. Suddenly Sean's mind cried out: 'I’m in love with him!' He knew these words reflected the most profound inner truth he'd ever experienced. He didn't simply love Elijah. He was in love with him. The realization filled him with great joy. And great fear.

He knew, in a sudden flash of insight that eventually, he would leave Chris in order to build a life with the man in his arms. It might be years before it happened. Neither of them were ready yet, and he would give his daughters time to grow. But Sean knew that he and Elijah belonged to each other. He was afraid of this future because it was unlike anything he had ever foreseen for himself. But he knew it was the only path he could travel that reflected the truth of his Being.

He pulled Elijah on top of him, still drowning in their kiss. He pressed his mouth against Elijah's with rapturous abandon. He felt ecstatic, bliss consume him. Melting him. Elijah's lips drank in his very soul. They had become, with this one kiss, each other's lifeblood. And Sean knew nothing would ever be the same for him again.

Elijah pressed his body against Sean's, yearning for him with every fiber of his being. He ached to be as close to him as was humanly possible. Closer than he'd ever been to anyone. Sean's leg wrapped around him, pressing their bodies even more tightly together.

He broke their kiss and captured Elijah's face in his two hands. His body was moving against Elijah's. Arching against him in a frenzy of longing. And yet, as mindless as he had become through the passion of his body, the love he felt in his heart made demands that were even more compelling.

"I love you!" Sean cried, his voice thick with unshed tears. "Elijah! God, please hear me. I love you. I love you so much. That's what matters to me, Lij. That's all that matters."

Elijah smiled down at him, his body shaking. "And I love you just as much," he whispered.

Ripples of pleasure flooded their bodies as they both came, shuddering violently, holding each other close. Both of them were still whispering 'I love you' and continued to whisper it as their heartbeats slowed and the tremors of ecstasy in their bodies stilled.

Sean held Elijah's body tight against him, refusing to release him. Feeling as though he would never release him. Wanting nothing more than this in life. Just to hold Elijah close. Just to feel him this near.

His hand still held Elijah's face gently, his thumb moved slowly over his full lower lip. He felt entranced. Spellbound by the aching sweetness of feeling their bodies snuggled together and by the look on Elijah's face.

"Beautiful," Sean breathed. "God, Elijah, you are so beautiful."

Elijah smiled at him and rubbed his shorn head. "'Sure I am," he said, laughing softly.

"Eye of the beholder," Sean murmured. "And I'm not talking about physical beauty." Sean drew a quick breath. "Did you mean Frodo?"

"When?" Elijah queried.

"When you said 'he' left you. And that I left you just like. . . then you didn't say who you meant."

"No," Elijah replied in a sleepy voice. "Not Frodo. Him too though. He left Sam that way. How could he do that?"

"He didn't do it," Sean mused. "Tolkien did it." He turned his body, keeping Elijah tight against him, but moving them to their sides so that Elijah's head could rest on his shoulder.

Elijah smiled at him and Sean smiled back. He was determined to lighten Elijah's mood. To ease him into sleep feeling care-free if he could.

"I'd bet all I've got that Frodo had to be hauled onto that boat kicking and screaming. And I suspect they still had to tie him to the mast to keep him from diving overboard and swimming back to Sam."

They smiled at each other. Sean could see that Elijah was starting to nod. He still wanted to know the identity of the mysterious 'he' that Elijah had mentioned. As he pondered this, he remembered Orlando mentioning that Elijah hadn't just spoken about him. He had also talked about his father.

'That's it!' Sean thought. 'The 'he' is Elijah's dad.' He understood why Elijah didn't want to get into it now. Discussing his father would surely upset him again. This could wait 'till tomorrow. But Sean felt the guilt within him redouble. He didn't know how he would ever be able to make this up to Elijah. "Go to sleep," he whispered. "Go to sleep, sweet baby."

Already halfway there, Elijah nuzzled into his shoulder as Sean held him even tighter. His voice was drowsy. "You be gone in the morning?"

"No," Sean replied. "I'll be right here beside you just like this. Now go to sleep. We'll fix everything in the morning, baby."

Elijah sighed deeply and was asleep almost at once.

Sean was sleepy too, but he lay, open-eyed for a long time. The whole length of Elijah's naked body pressed gently against his. And Sean didn't think he'd ever felt anything more wondrous. More life-altering.

Tomorrow they'd talk. But tonight he wanted nothing more than to luxuriate in this feeling. To remember it in case it was a long time before it happened again. To enshrine it in his consciousness as a place he could visit when the fear fell upon him and threatened his soul.

"Elijah."

Sean whispered his name like an invocation. And that one word filled his heart with serenity. And he slept.

\- end -


End file.
